samantha beta (forever_ineros) wrote in fat_bi_drama,
samantha beta
forever_ineros
fat_bi_drama

  • Mood:
  • Music:

For People Who Believe in Brutal Honesty

I was hit on by a drugged out(up?) girl and a drunk guy. That does not help my self esteem. As soon as they come out of it and see me in the light, I know they'll be repulsed. There's a guy who called me "unattractive" repeatedly (not to my face, but online through his LJ) and then later that night told me he had brief sexual fantasies about me. I guess you don't have to think someone's attractive to wanna have sex with them! Too bad for everyone that my legs are closed so fucking tight right now because I wish I was dead and don't want to talk about it with anybody because I don't want to get hurt again. I am getting so angry defensively recently, but then later that night I just broke down and cried and I'm not even sure why. I just used the excuse that I need lots of rest or else I get really emotional. I can't tell when I'm being delusional and when there is actually something good going on. I can't tell if I'm going where I want to go because it's fun or because I want to run myself down until I have nothing left to lose. I hate this. I keep on making these stupid posts, most of them probably more eloquent and detailed than this one, and this one is the one I make public. Figures.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment